


Payoff

by artist_artists



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 22:17:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artist_artists/pseuds/artist_artists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Sebastian asks Kurt out, he gets turned down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Payoff

The first time Sebastian asks Kurt out, he gets turned down.

It’s a lot worse than just being turned down, actually. Kurt laughs at him at first, not cruelly, but like he actually thinks Sebastian is messing with him, and it’s enough to make Sebastian want to abort his mission completely and go along with Kurt’s assumption that this is a joke. It’s too late, though, Kurt has seen the flashes of hurt and anger in his eyes, and Sebastian is far too embarrassed to talk himself out of this now.

The whole encounter only lasts about five minutes, but it’s in the running for the most awkward and uncomfortable experience in Sebastian’s life. It’s not the type of story that will be funny for him to retell later, even if years have passed and he and Kurt are married. Sebastian doesn’t feel proud for leaving his comfort zone and going after what he wants, he only feels the shame and embarrassment of not being rewarded for it.

The laughter isn’t even the worst part of it. Sebastian is more hurt by Kurt’s confusion once he figures out that Sebastian isn’t joking. His voice is soft and laced with regret, but his eyebrows are furrowed and he keeps biting his lip as he explains that he’s sorry, but he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, they don’t really have anything in common and they barely know each other, and Sebastian cuts him off, tells Kurt to forget it, because he can’t stand the pity anymore, and he leaves the coffee shop where they’d been waiting for other friends to arrive.

It’s not that he doesn’t know he’s being childish. He just doesn’t know how to stop feeling so hurt. Kurt hadn’t tried to make it personal, but his excuses about them not knowing each other well and having nothing in common are bullshit, because in the four months that he and Kurt have been reacquainted, Sebastian’s watched Kurt date two other guys he has much less in common with and has known for not nearly as long. It’s not about that, it’s about Sebastian. He’d been stupid to think their past wouldn’t be a problem.

The whole thing is stupid, really, now that he looks back on it. The two of them weren’t close, Kurt was right about that, but they had mutual friends and hung around with the same group at NYADA, and after the initial weirdness of seeing Kurt again, they had settled into being acquaintances. Barely a month had passed before Sebastian started picking what get-togethers to attend based on the likelihood of Kurt making an appearance. Sebastian had never looked to him as anything but someone who was fun to rile up back in high school, and he’s not sure if he just wasn’t paying attention or Kurt has changed, but Kurt is a bright, shining light to him now. Sebastian can’t stop staring at him, his eyes, his lips, his hair, his legs. Everything Kurt says is funny or smart, and Sebastian doesn’t even have a problem with the way he dresses anymore, which is the biggest hint that something is wrong.

“Just ask him out already,” Jess had whispered to him one night when they were all at a bar celebrating the end of midterms, and that’s what made him realize how serious the situation was. He had a crush, and it was obvious. After that, his first plan was to kill the feelings, avoid Kurt and try and go back to normal. Sebastian’s resolution lasted all of 48 hours, but then Stephen sent out a group text inviting him somewhere, and Kurt was on the list, too, and that was the end of that. That was the day he had decided that Jess was right. He was going to ask Kurt out. It took him nearly two months to work up the courage to invite Kurt to the coffee shop when no one else was there, telling him he wanted to talk about something. Sebastian had thought it was enough of a hint about his motives, but Kurt had apparently had no idea.

“You know, I thought you wanted to talk about throwing a surprise party for Maddie,” is the first thing Kurt says when he corners him in the lobby of the student union building a few weeks after the disastrous encounter. They haven’t spoken since Sebastian left Kurt behind in the coffee shop, because Sebastian’s been ignoring his texts and avoiding every outing that has the potential to involve Kurt.

“Surprise parties aren’t really my thing,” Sebastian says, trying to cover up his panic at seeing Kurt again by keeping his voice cold and unfeeling.

Kurt lets out an exasperated sigh. “Well, dating didn’t used to be your thing, either.”

“Can’t we just forget that happened? It was a lapse in judgment, _clearly_ , and-”

“You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Sebastian, that’s not a way to move on from something!”

Sebastian laughs in disbelief. “Oh, I’m sorry, you laughed at me and then turned me down, I wasn’t aware you wanted to hang out with me so badly!”

“I just.... it doesn’t mean that...” Kurt trails off, frustrated. “You just took me by surprise, okay? And I only laughed because I honestly thought you were joking!”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s over and done with,” Sebastian says. “And I have a final tonight that I still need to study for, so I really need to get going.” He turns toward the exit, but Kurt grabs his arm before he can get very far.  
  


“Wait, just give me a second, okay?” Kurt says. “You can’t just get mad at people when they turn you down, you know. As happy as I am for you that you’ve decided to enter the dating world and leave behind the world of one night stands with STD-laden strangers-”

“I never said anything like that,” Sebastian interrupts, but aside from a drunken makeout with a stranger during his first week on campus, he hasn’t gotten any action at all since he moved to New York.

Kurt ignores him and continues. “You can’t just get mad at anyone who ever turns you down. People aren’t obligated to date you just because you like them. You get that, right?” Sebastian rolls his eyes, but doesn’t reply, and Kurt presses him. “Say you understand, Sebastian.”

“I’m not a child!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like one!” Kurt shoots back. “Tell me you understand, please.”  
  


“I understand,” snaps Sebastian. “Happy now?”

Kurt nods. “I am. Now that we’ve got that clear... I think we should go on a date.”

Sebastian’s jaw drops. “Wait, what?”

“It’s your fault,” is Kurt’s petulant reply. “I never thought about it at all until you asked, but now... I don’t know, it’s been like two weeks and I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s _annoying_.”

“Two weeks is nothing,” Sebastian tells him. “Try two months.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “You liked me for two months?”

Sebastian just shrugs, deciding not to mention that he liked him for twice that long, and two months was just how long it took him once he actually decided to ask Kurt out.

“Okay, well... let’s do it then,” Kurt says. “When’s your last final?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Mine’s tomorrow morning. We could go out tomorrow night? Unless you’re leaving for Ohio?”

“Not ‘til Thursday,” Sebastian says. The conversation feels surreal. He can’t believe they’re actually planning a time to go out on a date, and he’s barely paying attention to anything except the somehow pleasant churning in his stomach as Kurt starts rambling.

“I’m not really going home for semester break. Just for Christmas, then I’m coming back. But we could meet up while I’m in Ohio, I’m sure. If, um... if it goes well, I guess. So... tomorrow, around seven?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“What do you want to do?”

Sebastian shrugs. “Um... I don’t know. Whatever you want to do?”

“You liked me for two months and you didn’t even come up with date ideas?” Kurt asks incredulously.

“I don’t go on dates, remember? I have ‘one night stands with STD-laden strangers.’” Sebastian also didn’t think much about potential date ideas because he’d mostly just pictured them hanging out together with the group, pressed close together, then going home together at night. Dates hadn’t factored much into it at all.

Kurt rolls his eyes. “We’ll get dinner or something.”

“My roommate’s going home tomorrow afternoon,” Sebastian offers. “My room will be empty, if you wanted to come over after we eat.”

As soon as he says it, Sebastian wonders if maybe he’s being a bit too forward, but Kurt just grins and says, “We’ll see,” before turning toward the stairs. “Text me when you’re done with your final tomorrow,” he calls over his shoulder. “Good luck!”

“I’m gonna need it,” Sebastian mutters under his breath as he watches Kurt disappear into the stairwell.


End file.
